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Welcome to the articles archive for The Happiness and Self-worth Solution. This is a collection of articles written by Kirk Wilkinson or authors that he has selected. If you have an article or story that you would like included please contact Kirk at behappy@thehappinessfactor.com.
What makes you unhappy? Do you really know?
Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know what makes you unhappy or what would be devastating in your life? Believe it or not, very few of us are good at emotional forecasting. In other words, even though we think we know what would make us happy and what would make us sad, it is usually not the case.
Let’s use this example. In a recent study, a group of more than 500 people were asked what would make them happy. Many of their responses included, “spending time with family.” The researchers gave each person in the study a PDA to record their level of happiness and satisfaction each hour of the day and to record what it was they were doing at the time. The results are not what you would expect. By a large margin people scored their happiness and satisfaction higher when they were at work and experienced less happiness and satisfaction when they were at home or with their family.
Another landmark study by Phillip Brickman compared the life satisfaction of lottery winners to quadriplegics. Both groups demonstrated the same level of happiness and satisfaction with the quadriplegics often saying they had a higher quality of life after being paralyzed.
Even though we think we know what will make us happy and what will not, we are actually not very good at predicting it. Why? Because we have an amazing emotional immune system. This immune system allows us to overcome obstacles and rise to the occasion. Additionally, we have been conditioned that external factors make us happy when in fact, happiness is an inside job. It is created from within.
It’s not what you eat but what’s eating you!
As a fan of the biggest Loser I can’t help but be interested in the weight loss craze. Just over two years ago one of my clients had Lap-Band surgery to reduce the size of her stomach enabling her to lose weight. She quickly learned that even with a smaller stomach there is more to losing weight than portion control. It isn’t so much of what you eat but what’s eating you that makes the biggest difference.
As a preparation for Lap-Band surgery my client had to see a Behavioral Psychologist. Over the course of several visits she discovered a fear of being hungry. As she has learned to deal with the fear of being hungry she was able to lose more weight.
Are you hungry for food or something else? Perhaps you need to be ‘filled’ emotionally before you can have the weight loss you desire. There is no amount of food cant can satisfy you emotionally. While food may be your vice, others turn to drugs, alcohol, exercise or something else to fill this emotional void. While some of these ‘filling’ activities are healthy, most of them are not. As you consider losing weight, spend some time thinking about what needs filling: your belly or your emotions? Many times, comfort food is exactly that – giving you comfort through eating when what you really need is a great big hug! Next time, get a hug instead of desert.
